Once Upon a Tsuna Fish
by Sheepba
Summary: Tsuna the fish had lived a depressing fish-life from the day he was born/hatched. Fortunately, the appearance of the Hibaranha and the pineapple-man changed his life forever! AU, crack, maybe OOC future yaoi 8D
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Okayyyy. Here's my first-ever fic after years of stalking other peoples'! XD I don't think it'll be huge, and updating may be irregular... Buuut I have high hopes for this!

Essentially, I'll be writing about the AU, crack, and possibly OOC (mis)adventures of the Tsuna fish (sorry... I still 'LOL' about that), drawing random inspiration mostly from fairy tales. Unfortunately, Tsuna will not be a fish in this fic forever (it's a fairly tale, c'mon)

Rating will most likely go up and there's a high chance of yaoi as well |D -nosebleed-  
But right now, it's as innocent as can be, with the exception of mild fish-violence ;]

_disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn and characters (c) Akira Amano_

* * *

Tsuna was a fish, a small and inconspicuous organism that drew the attention of few. In his natural habitat -a flourishing wetland set in some remote forest- Tsuna spent his days as a typical carp as he fed on the vegetation that produced precious oxygen for the rest of the fish. Because of this, the others hated him, nicknaming him "No-Good Tsuna" and shunned him in their fishly activities.

Therefore, it came as no surprise to the pond when No-Good Tsuna, fed up with his friendless existence, tried to take his own life. Unfortunately (or perhaps it was fortunate after all), Tsuna lived up to his title of No-Good to the end: of all the possible methods of suicide, he chose to drown himself.

xx

After a valiant struggle to suffocate his gills with water, Tsuna found that he remained very much alive, albeit fatigued from his exertion. As Tsuna had never been especially adept in the mental department (he was, above all, a fish), he became extremely confused as to why he could not die. He considered immortality, yet remembered that his unrelenting terror towards the Hibaranha proved he was as perishable as any. Soon, exhaustion overtook Tsuna and he began to drift to sleep. He was nearly unconscious when hardened steel hit skull...

"OW OW OW!!! Who is it?!" A confused Tsuna snapped into alarmed awareness.

"Your attempts at suicide are disrupting the peace, herbivore."

The dreaded voice came from above and Tsuna tilted his head to see the dreaded landlord glaring down at him, tonfas raised. Tsuna cringed and braced himself for impending doom.

The Hibaranha spoke again, "This sort of unscrupulous behavior cannot be tolerated in Namimori pond. I'll bite you to death."

And then all was black. Sort of.

xx

Tsuna felt as though he was floating through an abyss of nothingness, trapped between a dreamlike state and that of a certain reality. He was unable to discern his whereabouts due to hazy mist that enshrouded even what lay directly before him. However, there was one attribute of the location that Tsuna could confirm: wherever he was, it smelled distinctly of fresh pineapple.

"Kufufu. Hello Tsuna."

Tsuna strained to see through the fog, and as he squinted, he noticed a blue discoloration in the white mist. He then moved in the direction of this irregularity, and was eventually able to distinguish a blue pineapple smirking directly towards him. No, wait a minute.

Surely a pineapple would not be able to smile and speak! Perhaps it would be more rational to explain the approaching figure as a man with blue pineapple-shaped hair...

Tsuna's suspicions were confirmed as the pineapple came into observable view. A man not much older than himself (in fish years) stood before him, dressed all in black and wielding a gleaming trident. Terrified, Tsuna turned to swim away, but was thwarted by cool cement walls that had materialized in place of the dark mist that obscured their surroundings before.

"Kufufu. A hopeless little carp such as yourself can't hope to escape my illusions, Tsuna. But fortunately for you, I am here to save, not kill you... For now. Kufufu." The pineapple-man's smile widened, and Tsuna saw that it had bore more evil than ever before (if that was possible). Cowering, he mustered the courage to speak.

"P-pl-please don't bite me to death!"

"Oh? I don't know where you obtained such a mistaken impression, but no matter. As I stated, I am here to save you, if only by special request of an old acquaintance. Kufufu." The man drew closer to Tsuna, continuing to point the trident towards his forehead.

Tsuna was trembling visibly now, but there was no escape from the man's illusionary room which possessed no doors, so he resigned himself to fate and attempted another question, "Er... what happened? The lasting thing I saw was the Hibarahna, but he doesn't seem to be here anymore... And umm, who are you?"

"Kufufu. So many questions, Tsuna. Ah well, we are unrestrained by schedule, so I'll explain the situation to you. My name is Rokudo Mukuro; I am the currently presiding overlord of the underworld."

"Ehhh?! You're the devil?"

"Kufufu. Such an outdated term... Today, as you may recall, the Hibaranha attacked you for disrupting the discipline of Namimori Pond. I am certain you understand the implications of this encounter, as few can emerge alive from the Hibaranha's aggression." The pineapple-man -no, Rokudo Mukuro seemed to be enjoying his recount immensely, and focused taunting eyes (one red and one blue) on Tsuna's as he continued, "As expected, you were unable to withstand the mauling and succumbed to your injuries shortly after. Kufufu."

"Whaat? I'm... dead?" Tsuna flailed fins rapidly in disbelief.

"Kufufu. How naive. No, Tsuna, you have not died... Yet. Furthermore, I have tried my best to detail the current predicament to you, yet you seem too dense to comprehend. Let us continue our journey now, shall we?" A flicker of excitement flashed through Mukuro's crimson iris as he waved his trident in an intricate ritual. Tsuna gazed in awe; perhaps Mukuro was a magician who used his trident as a wand.

"You are truly naive, Tsuna. I find it impressively obtuse of you to believe I must rely on a weapon's grant of power. Let me tell you, I rely on nobody but myself! Kufufufufu!" Mukuro's laugh began mutating into one of insanity. Tsuna, his fear of the pineapple-man ascending with each passing moment, sought consolation in the furtherest corner of the room. He then covered his eyes with his fins and crouched motionlessly in terror, excepting the worst but praying for Mukuro to disappear. Unfortunately for Tsuna, Mukuro regained composure shortly thereafter, and turned to face him once more. "Kufufu. I must ask something before we continue; I am quite curious. Why are you upset and scared if the cause of your current condition was your own attempt at suicide?"

"Ah..." Tsuna peeked out to see Mukuro towering over him, trident aimed. "Uh... I-I don't know... I really don't! So.. p-please don't bite me to death! Please!"

"Kufufu. I would never resort to such barbaric measures. Well then, I will now deliver you to your destination. I do believe we will meet again, Tsuna. Kufufufu." Mukuro laughed as he dissolved into darkness. The walls that constrained Tsuna vanished along their creator and the enshrouding mist from before returned to inhibit his senses.

* * *

Aaand, it's a wrap!

Sorry about ending on such a boring/lame/depressing/pseudo-dramatic note OTL

**R&R**? I'll give you some of the delicious _PINEAPPLE_ I'm munching on right now!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Uhh ok. So I haven't updated in about 4 months when I said I would in less than 2 weeks. SORRRY D:

I blame it all on IB. If you don't know what IB is... Google it. You'll find stuff to the gist of "eternal damnation" and "child torture". KIDDING. Actually, it's just a educational program that preps you for university and stuff by making you die in high school so you don't have to go to university... Anyways.

The tone of this chapter is really different, I dunno what I was thinking when I wrote it. But since it's summer now, I'll hopefully update a whole lot moar :D

_disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn and characters (c) Akira Amano_

* * *

It would be many hours before the mist began to drift away, revealing a lush field beneath picturesque summer skies. Tall strands of grass encircled Tsuna, quivering in warm winds, and an inviting fragrance of wildflowers replaced the suffocating scent of pineapple. Tsuna relished the scene -never in his life had he witnessed such breathtaking tranquility... Yet he felt in the back of his mind that something was amiss. However, he could not identify his concern and decided it a trivial matter. Rising from the grass, Tsuna then sauntered through the meadow in wonderment, exploring his whereabouts with the unpretentious fascination of a child.

The afternoon sun faded as evening fell, and a cool breeze soon threatened to steal the warmth of day. Tsuna lay in the grass, gazing skywards at countless stars twinkling overhead; the onset of night did nothing to diminish the beauty of his surroundings. However, he did not miss the steep drop in temperature, and began to worry of the impending cold. Nonetheless, Tsuna knew that he had no place to go, so he curled his body into fetal position and attempted to sleep...

And then it dawned on him. Sitting up with a start, Tsuna hurriedly examined his hands and feet. Hands and feet...

Tsuna was no longer a fish!

The realization came initially as a frightening notion to Tsuna -he sat in shock amongst the rustling grass for well over ten minutes staring at his newly-gained limbs. As he regained cognitive ability however, the surprise began to fade and fear soon subsided into a cautious curiosity. Wriggling his toes and fingers, Tsuna felt an exhilarated awe like never before. Eagerly, he raised a hand towards his own face, and apprehensive fingers were soon met with a human nose, large human eyes, and a human mouth. At this point there was no doubt; for some reason or another, Tsuna had transformed into a human. Yawning approvingly, Tsuna rested back in the grass. Unfortunately, the air had grown decidedly colder by then, and Tsuna was in no better position to fall asleep than before.

And so he nestled himself in the most comfortable patch of grass he could find, and waited, shivering, for the rising of the sun that would dispel the permeating chills of night.

When daylight struck after the coldest, longest night Tsuna had ever spent, his muscles would no longer move as instructed and his forehead felt as if it were burning. Unaccustomed to human illness, he began to panic, thrashing around in fish-like manner amid the grasses. He wondered if he would die in the meadow; he was weak, hungry and lost in a beautiful yet markedly untamed territory without direction or destination. Should nothing change the situation, mere days would separate Tsuna from an untimely end...

xx

Poke. Poke poke. Stab.

"OUCH!" Tsuna's eyes flew open as a sharp pain his neck. Blinking in the sudden sunlight, he could only discern a blurry shape looming overhead. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that the shape was that of a boy -a boy's face to be exact- grinning blithely a mere 3 inches from his nose. Tsuna's first impulse was to escape in any way possible. However, that proved impossible as the cheerful, dark-haired boy had crawled above him while he was asleep. In addition, the other, despite his friendly smiles, carried an enormous bamboo katana that Tsuna hoped to never come in contact with -he'd received enough injuries these past few days to last a lifetime...

"Hi! You must be Sawada Tsunayoshi-san! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi; it's great to finally meet you!" The other boy was positively beaming now.

"Uh... Hi. Ummm, I think you have the wrong person: my name is Tsuna, not Sawada Tsunayoshi." Tsuna squirmed uneasily beneath Yamamoto, but soon discovered to his dismay that other failed to recognize the awkwardness of their situation.

"Haha, do your friends call you Tsuna for short? Alright, I'll call you Tsuna-san as well!" Yamamoto widened his smile, entirely oblivious to Tsuna's discomfort.

"Err. No, my name is really just Tsuna... Sawada Tsunayoshi must be someone else; you have the wrong person!"

"Ah, nope, you're definitely the right person!" Yamamoto paused in thought for a moment, then continued excitedly, "I know you're the right person, because the boss gave me a very specific description of you! Lets see... a) ridiculous hair b) very short in stature c) lacks common sense and d)fish-like tendencies. You fit it all! Except... hmmm... fish-like tendencies... maybe you _are_ the wrong person."

"Ah... " Tsuna could only stare in disbelief as Yamamoto deliberated courses of action.

"Oh well! You're close enough, as I might as well just bring you to the boss. He'll know what to do! C'mon, get up Tsuna-san! You've been awake for well over ten minutes and you're still in bed?"

A bewildered Tsuna stared back at him. "Uh, the reason I can't get up is, uh, because you're on top of me..."

"Eh?" Yamamoto looked down, finally realizing his straddling position above the other boy. "Hahaha! How forgetful of me! Ah, sorry Tsuna-san!" Grinning sheepishly, he crawled off.

Tsuna sat up, rubbing his still-sore neck injury. He decided it must have been the katana that had caused the damage and noted mentally never to stand within two meters of the weapon.

"Tsuna-san, quit stalling! We have a long trip ahead of us!"

As Tsuna rose gingerly, he realized that, untreated and coupled with his recent starvation, his illness had worsened significantly. Although he was able to stand with much effort, walking was too strenuous: he collapsed within the first few steps.

"Oi, Tsuna-san! Hm? Tsuna-san?" Yamamoto turned in time to see Tsuna fall to the ground. "TSUNA-SAN!"

"Ughh. I'm fine," groaned Tsuna as he forced himself upright. "I'm just a bit sick."

"Hahaha, of course! Tsuna would never let something as insignificant as illness affect him!" Yamamoto grabbed Tsuna's arm and begn walking in long, loping strides that Tsuna could not keep up without jogging. "Let's hurry to meet the boss!"

xx

Poke. Poke-

"OUCH!" cried Tsuna, eyes flying open, "I'm awake, please don't stab me again!"

"Haha, sorry about that, Tsuna-san!"

Tsuna looked up, half-expecting Yamamoto hovering above once more. However, he saw only bright blue skies overhead; Yamamoto was nowhere to be seen. Confused, Tsuna snuggled forward into his soft bed... Wait, bed?

Focusing on the structure below him, Tsuna found it to be oddly human-shaped. The fuzzy black fur beneath his chin confirmed his suspicions, and Tsuna finally realized that he was in fact being piggy-backed by none other than Yamamoto. With a terrified shriek, he began to flail his arms in an attempt to free himself. Unfortunately, Yamamoto proved much larger and stronger than Tsuna, rendering his efforts futile.

"Tsuna-san, stop moving! I might drop you!"

"Ah, sorry! Please don't bite me to death!" Tsuna froze and instinctively covered his face with his hands.

"Hahaha, you're so funny, Tsuna-san! Rawr, I'm going to bite you to death! Hahaha!"

Yamamoto began to laugh at his own joke, which granted some comfort to the terrified Tsuna. After a few moments, he removed his hands from his eyes and decided it would be safe to ask Yamamoto a question. After all, Yamamoto seemed to be the friendliest person (or fish) he'd met in a long time.

"Um, Yamamoto. Where exactly are we going?"

"Oh, sorry! I forgot to tell you! We're headed to Castle Vongola; you'll be able to see it any minute now!" He gestured towards a muted tunnel of light shining between some branches, and it was then that Tsuna noticed they (or rather, Yamamoto) had been trekking through a forest.

Tsuna squinted through the tree-shaded darkness towards the sunlight at the edge of the forest, but found he could not see past the fragmented rays. He debated asking Yamamoto what lay beyond, but decided against it for fear of being an annoyance to the other boy. Leaning forward against Yamamoto once again (he still hadn't managed to escape), Tsuna began to wonder what sort of person the 'boss' Yamamoto had mentioned would be. He desperately hoped this person would not take one look at him and demand "off with his head!", yet had a sinking feeling that the meeting would not be a positive experience. After all, this person was the boss of Yamamoto, whom, while very friendly, was also the wielder of the largest bamboo katana Tsuna had ever seen...

* * *

Ok so... Hopefully more updates this month! :D

Meanwhile, **R&R** and I'll give you a tuna sandwich! Ahahaha. Ha.


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